Neka Doko
Albanian Archdiocese
Fan Noli Library & Cultural center
Ethnographic cross-cultural communication & research
Life School of New York
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PRIFTERESHA MARGARET’S 80’S BIRTHDAY: RECOGNITION TOWARD ONE OF THE KIND FIRST LADY OF SAINT GEORGE
We never know how high we are, until we are called to rise
Emily Dickinson
Introduction
When working with the 50th anniversary archival project of the Fan Noli Library foundation and legacy last year, I referenced several sources and data collections of photographs, movies, documentaries, journalistic and research papers. Next to the Fr Arthur’s Master file a new subfile with the name of Margaret came to mind. I put the file aside to fill it with time for future projects. This is the beauty of an archival research: opening something new while connecting the dots from the past to the present and revealing history of our community at the ‘here and now’ from different times and spaces. And when the timing clicks, putting things together for creating a unique piece of oldish-new emerged experience.
Here is a source of inspiration.
In the 60th birthday documentary dedicated to Very Rev Arthur E Liolin, I was struck by the testimony of Prifteresha Margaret about her husband and our Cathedral Priest, Chancellor and Fan Noli Library founder and executive director, about Fr Arthur’s character. If there was a word to describe the God’s man and leader of our community, that would have been INTEGRITY, in her statement she resumed it all. Thank you, Margaret, I silently felt and undoubtedly approved of her words, especially after working with Father Arthur for more than 18 years for the Fan Noli Library research archival work and digital projects along with many memorable historical and cultural milestone events at Saint George Cathedral and the Albanian Archdiocese.
On the other hand, I was honored to meet and know over the years our Prifteresha’s character even closely when working together after liturgy events at Saint George’s reception room for anniversaries or book fair co organized activities. Through our genuine communication, a sincere spiritual and artistic friendship was built.
This article is not intended to feature an archival research work. The initial idea was clearly simple to write a brief substantial birthday message on behalf of Daughters of Saint George, Fan Noli Library and Cultural center and then sent to Margaret Liolin toward the end of the first week of April when she was about to celebrate her 80th birthday. Nevertheless, considering her history of the longest first lady of Saint George and Albanian Archdiocese, I had another idea which coincided with her family’s suggestion to put the project off until Mother’s Day. With that in my focus, I extended the approach to collect more family and Fan Noli Archives data with the aim to bring a unique case of reflection and recognition besides birthday wishes which all were properly delivered on time. This was the moment I thought to set a backward step and begin to fill Margaret’s biographical file with this dedication work for the Fan Noli Library and Archive.
The new idea sent me back to cross-cultural ethnographic of communication studies and research, my soft spot for writing interpersonal and cultural papers on any ethnographically interesting and unique case study in our community. Hopefully this paper will do justice to her uniqueness and fulfill any expectations on that matter.
Consequently, I kindly asked Margaret’s family to provide emic data through vivid testimonies, thoughts and reflections about the woman and the mother behind her role of one-of-the kind first lady of Saint George on the crossroad between birthday, anniversaries, and Mother’s Day, for my research in a 4 D time space extension. The way the keen collaboration turned out is now a family/community recognition research paper out of observant participation and testimony method and approach from an ethnographic emic/etic perspective of the Albanian American written history of Saint George, digital data, of personal, religious, and cross- cultural communication.
The last but not the least, when working for this paper I felt enlightened to open the category of female cross- cultural research about Saint George’s community leading women in history with this recognition and dedication Dielli’s article to Margaret Liolin and to her whole family. I extend my gratitude and many thanks to all of them, for their generous collaboration to make this first project on the field happening. In a special way I am honored to be on time helped by Elena Liolin for the proofreading and a scrupulous American editing work throughout my cross-lingual and cultural structure and writing style. Without her diligent and enormous assistence this blessed common gift couldn’t have seen the light.
In that 4 D space-time of 50+ years’ service at Saint George Cathedral and Albanian Archdiocese, while standing tall beside Father Arthur’s God’s calling, leadership, and family, what was like to be a Prifteresha, the woman and the mother and yet being herself within a cross-cultural transition?
At interpersonal level:
Although with some semantic differences in cultural nuances, I have often heard on my own crossroad, various locutors saying, “Behind an outstanding man, lies an amazing woman.”
Whereas from the American predominantly individualistic culture, another saying sounds to me now more realistic.
“While a man is judged by what he does in life with precedence during transition times, the woman is always evaluated for being who she is and stands for.” (1)
At cross-cultural level:
We found a vivid interest in collecting observation data, thoughts, and reflections on Margaret’s unique profile for another reason. Personally, when working in my hometown I have encountered two times the cross-cultural experience while welcoming other cultures to the host culture. Almost three decades of work, studies, and research in two countries other than my own, I have been constantly interculturally and personally open to and interested in unique cross-cultural experiences, profiles, and characters. However, my intercultural perspective has been spiritually tested when living with new cultures and life philosophies after leaving Albania for western Europe and then moving to America at the turn of the 21st century. During the first and mostly the second transition here I have experienced rich moments when my interpersonal and cross-cultural boundaries were shaking to the core.
At spiritual level:
As a human gift of God, and citizen of the planet, I see no boundaries to anyone despite the religious, cultural, gender, professional backgrounds, or personal preferences when it comes to the spiritual level. However, honoring my paternal ancestor’s tradition, I go back to Ardenica’s Monastery where our family old byzantine roots of my father’s great, great parents sacrificed generational lives and even property or boundless lands and chose a new path to leave anything behind with the price to set themselves free from Greek and Turkish tyranny. Four centuries later here in Boston at Saint George Cathedral for the first time I feel I am returned home where I belong. Again, honoring my great and grandfather’s pathway to seek education in Alexandria, Egypt for spiritual and holistic healing to serve themselves and others, I am finally picking up broken pieces in the deepest level of my soul. As a result, during Covid time I earned holistic education certificates (mind-body- spirit balance) from Mindvalley Academy. Since then, I work for interdisciplinary research and education at Life School of New York, while teaching and training energies for self-healing, wellness, and self-realization. Although I am not fully immersed in the American culture, I keep bringing home to the Albanian American families the Albanian, Mediterranean, and French roots with openness toward Eastern/Western universal spirituality with the Japanese approach to eco healing arts and energy that I silently apply each morning for my family and Saint George’s people. This is my chosen bread of spirituality in action that with my mother’s blessings inspires me to serve the Albanian American community of Saint George history and archival digital projects, on a voluntary basis for 19 years from where I have valued more than ever the richness of living a holistic experience with purpose.
Upon these levels of self-awareness, I both intellectually and spiritually feel humble in tracing records about Saint George’s unique women’s profiles who have been pioneers and leading figures over the decades to the oldest Albanian- American organized congregation here in the new continent. Margaret’s profile can hopefully break the ice of recognition toward credited women in our history who have been proven to gracefully stand by their men’s life mission to the end.
Saint George’s Prifteresha- Woman of Character
According to Saint George’s Archival Master File, during the long journey of the Very Rev. Arthur E Liolin’s devotion to the faith, since the beginning when he had God’s calling for the young chancellor and pastor positions, but also for the lead man of many hats he wore during 50 years at Saint George Cathedral and Albanian Archdiocese, the role of his wife was as much crucial as his in the long run. From this digital photograph showing the tenure of her, while standing humble and ready on call next to her God’s man, her body language can tell how equanimous and fit, she was for this role. In this context, a powerful statement in the spiritual realm emphasizes the special status of the couple after “God’s calling the whole man, both husband and wife becoming one flesh. And a threefold cord is not quickly broken” (2)
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Within the couple’s special religious status, a unique female interpersonal, cultural, and spiritual profile and case study is opened. Margaret was not originally Albanian, neither a born American Orthodox woman from German culture, but spiritually, interpersonally, and culturally, she happened to take with courage a new path to have challenged and outsmarted the past. She has shown bravery and open mindedness since the beginning when by marriage to an Albanian American young priest, had heartly accepted the religious title in Albanian “Prifteresha” and then continued to prove that she had consciously taken the life direction she wanted by choice of love. (3)
No one on the outside can imagine the early 70’s when married to the Subdeacon Arthur Liolin, the most important duty of the young pastor’s wife was sustaining the balance between church and family. A delicate role for Prifteresha Margaret to understand and continuing support her husband’s busy pastoral service dedication to help and give out non counting hours to his parishioners while often neglecting family life and personal time with wife and children. (4)
Exceptional Role Model of Mother and Grandmother
In one hand, according to the oldest daughter Elena, Margaret was born to become a mother, and to have joyfully devoted her time to raise and educate three children, while supporting Father Arthur at the church with love, patience, enlightenment, and sense of humor.
Reading her two daughters thoughts Margaret had naturally synergized the role of Prifteresha and mother that had inspired either girl to follow their mothers’ steps, looking up to their role model and becoming like her.
Elena summarized her comments, “Our mother knew she wanted kids since she was about 8 years old and has always had an incredible sense of how to deal with them, no matter the age. My mom has always been and continues to be one of the strongest people I know. She has always supported my father and his work with the church and all 3 of us kids. I never felt like an after-thought, and I can only hope to be as amazing a mother as she has been to me.” (5a)
On the other hand, Emily, the youngest daughter of Father Arthur and Margaret, a fine observer since she was a child brings her thoughts and reflections on her mother’s 80th birthday, providing some succinct answers to our questions. She reveals the uniqueness of her mother’s character and personality to influence her when growing up between home and church. She identifies herself now with her own mother while being cultivated, focused on her child intercultural education, while becoming dedicated in her family, and being herself.
“When I was young, she was home with us kids until I was about 10. She had been a substitute teacher for a few years while we were young, but primarily she was our mom, and everyone else’s Prifteresha. If we weren’t by her side singing in the choir at St. George on Sundays, she was beside us in the pews, harmonizing in her beautiful alto voice.” (6a)
And then even more subtle data, that had anticipated rich points to our main question, came from Emily’s internalized cross-cultural education, which seem to be rooted by a strong influence of Margaret immersing her children in the diversity of inter family-community cultures at a very early stage of their lives.
“I always admired the way she walked as a German American in our Albanian Orthodox community so graciously, learning Albanian and helping us to know our culture on both our dad’s and her sides. (6b)
“As I grew older, I could really appreciate the depth of her service as Prifteresha, with the Ladies Guild and Daughters of Saint George memorial coffee hours, bake sales, when during annual Church Bazaars for the public, helping at the cathedral’s religious store, and of course all the many special occasions for luncheons, as well as keeping our home available for parishioners in need of our father’s council at any time. My mother has always been very humble in her service, but she was and continues to be incredibly generous of heart and spirit.” (6c)
Again, Elena’s testimony about her mother’s character, personality, and interpersonal communication’s skills reveals more interesting rich points with reference to the next generation.
“Her sense of humor and general light is contagious to anyone who’s ever met her.
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Her listening skills are top notch. If you’re lucky enough to speak with her, you know, without a doubt, you are being heard. Her patience never seems to run out. Her relationship with her grandchildren is so beautiful to witness. That same patience and sense of humor comes into play and therefore providing such an ease for the kids to feel connected.” (5b)
And then Emily, while providing a photo worth a thousand words, where I can add something in the realm of energies, – a picture intuitively capturing a precious moment of an energetically magnetic exchange between grandmother and granddaughter, – emphasizes her older sister’s statements with an open heart:
“I can’t imagine a better mother for myself, and grandmother for my daughter. To this day, she is loving, reassuring, kind, patient, understanding, and ready to find laughter and lightness in the inevitable hard moments of life.
As a mom now myself, I feel her presence with me whenever I remember to stop what I’m doing and be present with my daughter and whatever she’s going through. And when I encourage her creativity and follow her passion, whatever that may be. Above all else, I will always treasure my mom’s incomparable, unconditional love and support.” (6d)
Ever Ready as Always as Saint George’s First Lady
These days, as the strong woman she is known for, Margaret has more credits to collect when it comes to be herself as the First lady of the Very Rev. Arthur E. Liolin, Emeritus Chancellor of Saint George’s Cathedral and Albanian Archdiocese. With an observant participation emic/etic eye, I have noticed her yesterday at the Sunday School Closing ceremony coming back with authority and joy to our community events when from the meditation garden table, she honored everyone with her presence and delicacy of words.
I also have been pleased to meet another member of Liolin’s family. When tackling a chancery main event project along with Lauren Toli I happened to work with Evans, sole son of Father Arthur and Prifteresha since the beginning of last year for teaming up to collect, look and search among hundreds of digital files and archival data for the chosen photographs of the day of June 26, 2021, when the ceremony of the 50 years of Devotion to the Faith of the Very Reverend Arthur E Liolin, Chancellor Emeritus, for the Unveiling of Father Arthur’s Portrait successfully occurred.
From my own observation, besides that he adores his mother, and deeply cares for his father, I have seen nothing but the most honest work ethic skills, kindness, efficiency, and dedication to the duty from him.
Like in the past nothing has changed during that unforgettable and moving community celebration, when many of us at Saint George had keenly observed and experienced moments of mind- heart and soul coherence between the couple. Once Fr Arthur had enlightened a main point, Margaret in return had simply confirmed her pivotal role to be herself, keeping grounded and internally set the prayer for the church spiritual health and sustainability. She never passed up the chance to show up and stand for what she had believed the most and shined through with her undisputable patience of legacy when supporting, encouraging, and uplifting her husband’s devotion to faith and service through his generational work with passion and integrity.
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Photo courtesy of Fan Noli Library Digital Projects
Very Rev. Arthur E Liolin surrounded by his close and extended family.
June 26, 2021
There is enormously data to reveal and recognize about Margaret’s education, charity work, writings, creative cards, and more about her ever-ready personality to serve and touch other souls. Like Father Arthur, she is so easy to be in the flow of communication with anyone and express next to him a soft spirit and beautiful soul. Over the years I have noticed nothing, but a generous Prifteresha who is always there no matter where, when and what to advice, support, help, give and contribute for Saint George’s congregation after liturgy services and events. The Fan Noli Library and archival project team will be working with her biographical file completion, with time and professionally will cover all.
Everyone in our community has realized that she has been a natural educator, teacher, artist, and poet. During our recent conversation, I heard that Margaret has given in the past years many hours of teaching in person, and co-teaching with Elena at Sunday School.
During meeting with Daughters of Saint George, the audience and myself have witnessed her kind participation in the discussion of the group as the one who has to say the last word when others were looking forward to her piece of advice. With smile she had joyfully shared with all ladies, her one of the kind artistic hand- made Peg cards which have continuously ignited in others the best enlightened spirit, inner heart, and deep soul. Her creative ecological friendly cards exhuming with care and personal style written messages, heartfelt notes, and candid humorous poems, had ever moved any woman or couple of Saint George’s recipients when going through difficult transitions. Prifteresha has been often appreciated as the messenger of light and comfort at the very hardest moments of their lives.
Within this special Spring of Margaret’s 80th birthday and Mother’s Day celebration, on behalf of all mothers, Saint George Daughters, and the rest of our community we are privileged to address to Prifteresha and to her wonderful daughters, being mothers themselves, a special and rewarding Mother’s Day collective wish to share with family and for many years to come.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY AGAIN AND MOTHER’S DAY OUR PRIFTERESHA MARGARET!
GEZUAR PER SHUME VJET!!
References & Notes
- (1) Alexandra Stoddard book “Grace Notes” – A book of daily Meditation.
- (2) (Ecclesiastes 4:12)
- (3) Fan Noli Archive, Margaret Liolin’s File
- (4) From Father Arthur’s File & testimonies
- (5a), (5b) From Elena Liolin on her mother’s 80th birthday thoughts and reflections
- (6a), (6b), (6c), (6d) From Emily Liolin’s thoughts and reflections on her mother’s birthday
Digital Photography
- A-E-ND- Self-portrait at the Meditation Garden on April 22, 2022
- Photo courtesy of Fr Arthur & Prifteresha opening prayer at Pier Four Restaurant Saint George event in the early of 70’s – in Saint George & Albanian Archdiocese Digital File of the Fan Noli Library Archive
- Margaret and her granddaughter Vivian, in 2015? – photo courtesy of Emily Liolin to this project
- June 26, 2021, event of Very Rev. Arthur E Liolin’s Unveiling Portrait- family photograph, by N. D, on behalf of the Fan Noli Library Digital Projects
- The 75th Anniversary of the Daughters of Saint George -Cook Book- Introduction photograph of Father Arthur and Prifteresha Margaret, 2010