Archives for August 2023

Anila Niklos, M.Ed, CDP/

“Where–if anywhere–do our actual limits lie?” ― Steven Kotler, The Rise of Superman: Decoding the Science of Ultimate Human Performance.

When the New Year 2020 entered our lives, it was hyped and branded as the best year ever. But did it really pan out to be exactly that?! We all know the answer to that question. As our lives seem to be on halt, overwhelming frustration, newfound challenges, and pain are all a part of our new daily experience.

One way or another, we are standing in the crossroads of chaos and feel the need to reevaluate our lives emotionally, physically, financially and spiritually to name a few aspects. We also might feel a lack of clarity for what is next and that alone creates fear. The question I have– which you might also be wondering– should we accept the fear that is looming over our horizons and transferring inside our beings or should we open our arms and welcome the beginning of a new life?

Let’s suppose we embrace the new beginning. What kind of skills, attitudes, traits and values do we need to possess in order to thrive in the new beginning? As someone who not only studied the concept of new beginnings but also underwent several of them, I feel it important to share with you what I found impactful and vital.

Elect Courage Over Fear – If you were to search the meaning of courage you would learn that courage is “the ability to do something that frightens one, or strength in the face of pain or grief.” Actually, fear supports our capacity to keep ourselves safe and it is a human prehistoric response. However, the courage I am speaking of has to do with the ability to understand what the danger is but to choose strength in the face of overwhelming change, pain and grief. In other words, utilize fear to understand what scares you, the thing that creates limitations, mental, emotional, or physical ones. Then grab your courage which equips you with strength mentally, emotionally and physically. Thus, situating you for a healthy approach towards the new beginning.

Embrace Compassionate Curiosity – Allow yourself to apply compassionate curiosity towards the new beginning. Learn more about it by being open-minded and non-judging. The moment one judges someone or something he/she/them has/have lost the ability to clearly see the new beginning in its full potential. The scope of it might become distorted, and as a result lead to an inaccurate evaluation of the new beginning. In our new life, we simply must make sure we fully understand and compassionately interact with the new beginning.

Practice Wellness Attitude – Right now, most of our daily habits are off. Someone might be experiencing days and nights becoming one. Others might be caring for loved ones who might have become ill, while others might be experiencing pain from loss of loved ones, loss of employment, loss of status, loss of themselves as they knew it. As such, it is crucial to be present and apply a wellness attitude, now more than ever. What are some of the things you need to do to stay healthy and strong, not only for yourself but also for the people who rely on you? Develop a wellness attitude based off of your answer to this question. Take care of yourself daily so you can take care of other loved ones.

Understand the Power of Positivity – It is impossible to remain unaffected under precarious circumstances. By remaining positive one can create a positive story around what happened. Make sure to minimize the negative effect of life events by practicing the power of positivity. Learn how to express the situation you might be in by giving it a positive spin. Create a new story, a story filled with positivity.

Surrender to Your Destiny – Have faith about what is happening! Be silent and listen to the whisper. There might have been signs along the way warning one of the changes coming up. Our lifestyles might have been so incredibly busy, loud and fast that the whisper could not be heard– making us feel blindsided. Surrender to your destiny. Stop. Reflect. Listen. Take a few moments to experience deep breathing. Be quiet and listen. The whisper is telling you, surrender to your destiny– I know what I am doing with you. Be courageous and surrender to it.

Lifelong Learning Is a Must – “The ability to learn faster than your competitors is the only sustainable competitive advantage.”― Steven Kotler, The Rise of Superman: Decoding the Science of Ultimate Human Performance – More than ever before, we all understand the new beginning(s) call for new skills and for new masteries. Make sure you make lifelong learning a part of your everyday life. Set aside time to learn new skills, ones that will equip you with feeling contemporary. There is no worse image than one of looking outdated based on your skills. Lifelong learning is a muscle, we must exercise it.

Create New Dreams – How many of you feel that you lost your dream(s)? How many of you stopped dreaming after your dream(s) did not come to fruition? Dare to dream a new dream. This voyage called life is made of dreams and it is in that dreaming that you enjoy what could be– for yourself and for others. Do not forget, our environment is ever changing. There is a deeper reason beyond your dream causing it to not come to fruition as you had hoped. There is a bigger dream in the works for you. Dream large and dream often. Dreaming is a form of appreciating life and what life has to offer.

Love Helping Others – For me helping others came natural at a very young age. Later on, I learned that helping others has great benefits for the person that is offering the help. To my surprise, I embraced the studies without any doubt. My experience with helping others has provided much contentment, happiness and a sense of achievement. Oh, and by the way, while helping others, I also expanded my network. I was asked to work for incredible companies, met outstanding role models and made a difference for different communities. I can’t endorse it enough– the process of helping others. Love what you do while helping others, and love the people you are helping.

Harnessing Your Unbreakable Spirit – How would you assess your spirit? Where do you stand? How many times have you qualified yourself as falling down and how did you pull yourself up? The very meaning of resilience stands in the ability to bounce back. As a former dancer, I recall times in which I had to have tough conversations with myself. I learned that I had to get up, pull myself together and go at it again, try again. I practiced sometimes as many as 8 hours daily. I was very critical of my moves to thrive to perfection levels. But what helped me most was my unbreakable spirit. Every time I fell, I got up again. My spirit would not break. There were days that I was sick but my spirit was so unbreakable that I practiced as though nothing was hurting. The power of one’s unbreakable spirit is undeniable. Build it with love and make it your most important trait and value. All the steps we talked about in this piece would not be possible without your unbreakable spirit.

As the new beginning is bestowed upon us, I encourage all of us to look at it with fresh eyes. Reevaluate yourself, your dreams, your desires, your wants, your loves, your traits, your values. In this slower time, many of us have had time to do things otherwise we would not have been able to do. Pay attention to the impact they have in your life.

How is it making you feel?

What is it bringing up to the surface?

Are there things you wish you would have done differently?

Knowing what you know now, what do you wish to see next?

What makes sense for your given situation?

Are you practicing positivity or are you becoming overwhelmed?

Do you have a support system at this time, someone you could talk with and confess your most inner fears, obstacles and challenges?

What do you feel can be most helpful during the time of new beginnings?

Ask yourself questions and remember not to judge. Tailor your resilience plan to meet your personal and professional needs. I will say goodbye for now by sharing the following quote:

“Scientists who study human motivation have lately learned that after basic survival needs have been met, the combination of autonomy (the desire to direct your own life), mastery (the desire to learn, explore, and be creative), and purpose (the desire to matter, to contribute to the world) are our most powerful intrinsic drivers—the three things that motivate us most. All three are deeply woven through the fabric of flow.”

― Steven Kotler, The Rise of Superman: Decoding the Science of Ultimate Human Performance.